Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
