Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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