She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
