she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
