whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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