The maid of honor just puked.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
