it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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