you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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