I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
