I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just had sex on a roof
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
God, I missed his penis.
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