omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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