Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
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