Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
