Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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