so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize