I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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