I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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