I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize