Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
only you would photoshop your dick
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
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i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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