I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
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I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Houston, we have a blender
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
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One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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