this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
