Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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