I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
