I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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