Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
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Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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