Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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