just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize