I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
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Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
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Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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