Don't make out with my wife yet
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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