Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
