it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
How's work?
Spinning.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
