He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
