I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
