I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
