just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
