I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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