I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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