shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
