When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
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And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
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Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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