Is that why you're texting me
Someone shit on the floor
one might say we're banned from that church
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
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I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy