well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
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so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woke up backwards on a recliner
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A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I have so many feelings about this burrito
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
that is very illegal...i love you.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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