after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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