im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize