laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Barsexuality is the new black.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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