In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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