idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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