I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Do vagina's smell?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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