So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
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I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
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I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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