Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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