Whod you bang
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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