Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Lo siento on account of my penis...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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