OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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