I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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