Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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