theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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