dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize